Bland Car Enthusiast: the 2015 Chrysler 200

2015 Chrysler 200

The Chrysler 200 is quite possibly the most under-appreciated sedan on the market, but frankly, now that we all know what the redesigned next generation Chrysler 200 looks like, the current model is a waste of space because HOLY SHITSNACKS the 2015 looks good.

I say “under-appreciated” because it’s so much better than the Sebring, the model it replaced, which was far and away the worst car in the world. The 200 was basically a nicer version of it, with many design flaws corrected and some vastly improved looks, although the overall looks were, shall we say, subtle and easy to under-appreciate.

The 2015 version of the 200 is completely different, inside and out, coming now with the most aerodynamic exterior of any sedan out there (including some bitchin’ taillights), an space-increasing futuristic center console with a space-decreasing gear dial instead of a gearshift, a nine-speed automatic transmission mated to some big horsepower numbers, and a very serious sense of personal confidence. Furthermore, Chrysler offers this beauty in some kind of weird dark teal color, which I’m strangely drawn to.

Knowing what the 2015 Chrysler 200 looks like means owning a 2014 Chrysler 200 would be an embarrassment. So, old people and mid-grade new-money businessfolk: I implore you, wait a few more months for the new model to come out. You’ll be glad you did.

One last thought on this car: there’s been some griping from comment trolls on internet rags about the name “200” for a car. The general sense is that under the Chrysler umbrella, you’ve got the Chrysler 300, which is taken from the classic of the same name that had a 300-hp engine, which was logical; you’ve also got the Fiat 500, which refers to the vehicle’s historical 500 cc back in its earliest form; and now you’ve got the Chrysler 200, which refers to nothing other than the fact that there is another car in the same brand lineup, and that that car is larger.

You know what I say to that critique? Go screw, that’s what I say. Chrysler has two cars and a minivan. One car is called the 300, the other car is called the 200. That’s just bad ass, that’s what that is. So there.

3 Replies to “Bland Car Enthusiast: the 2015 Chrysler 200”

  1. It is worth mentioning that BMW numbering systems just indicate where on the HP and style scale the car falls. So we see Chrysler doing kind of the same thing here by ranking this car agains the baseline of the 300. So to those folks who think this is an arbitrary indications system: firstly, welcome to much of the world of auto naming. Secondly, don’t be too pissed BMW and Porsche do much the same.

  2. Exactly. The numbering systems are bullshit. Actually, most of them have their own explanation — for example, the BMW 328 is a 3-Series platform with a 2.8 liter engine, the 330 is a 3-Series with a 3.0 liter, etc. — but it usually feels like a half-assed afterthought anyway, so who cares if 200 doesn’t refer to something more specific?

    1. I certainly don’t. I tend to drive cars with made up names not semi-invented number designations, only a couple yeas ago I found out that Corolla is actually a part of a flower (or a mollusk genus or a garland) and that happened due to driving through the town of Corolla in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I had a “wait, this is a thing?” moment.

      The thing is names to have a certain power to them. In regards to cars, names ranged from a straight descriptor (model T, Volkswagen) to describing a fast or strong quality (Tucker Torpedo, Dodge Dart) to a responsible quality (Honda Civic, Nissan Leaf) or a number that defines a certain set of class qualities (Porsche 911, SAAB 99). This gets confused with the made up names that became quite prevalent in the last few decades and the changes in naming schemes that mix numeric and word descriptors. All of these various systems are supposed describe a certain level of quality, class, power, and ability so a name should have some meaning of how it should be regarded. That it frequently doesn’t is irrelevant since clearly some folks have issues with the 200 based on it’s relation to the 300.

      This is amplified with resurrected names since there are old meanings associated with them that one hopes implies certain things about the new model. Think of the Volkswagen and the Fiat 500, both were cheap small peoples cars that were reincarnated as small, not cheap, YA cars. I know of many people who were disappointed with with the new incarnations since they didn’t hold the same meaning anymore. This change produced two name associations with these model designations that are in some degree of conflict and will remain so for a while.

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