Twitter Grader | Get Your Twitter Ranking

Twitter Grader | Get Your Twitter Ranking.

Check it out, peeps: bastion of marketing awesomeness Hubspot has a free tool called the Twitter Grader.  It’s exactly what it sounds like: it grades your Twitter feed.  It gives you your rank among all of Twitter.  All of it.

However, I went to see what I could do better and it appears I’m doing everything perfectly.  Or so they say.


As I discovered via‘s Twitter-scoring tool, I suck at Twitter.  I like their tool better in that it’s more honest and it comes with a fun visual.  (As you can see, has me cast as some shoeless hipster who complains about everything.)

Bil Gaines is terrible at Twitter.

Hubspot pegged me somewhere in the 2 million-somethingth ranking. That sounds about right.

But no suggestions on how to improve that ranking?  Surely I can do something better.  Next quarter, I want to see my score in the 1.9 million range.


What’s so damned important about Twitter?

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

Specifically: I hope to leverage a following to earn a living as a writer of fictional things. Twitter is one avenue for building said following. If I show up to a publisher or agent or, really, anyone who can pay me for what I write, and I say, here’s this finished manuscript, it’s hey-great-good-for-you-get-in-line. But if I show up with a finished manuscript and a healthy string of almost-guaranteed sales, then it’s hey-step-inside-let’s-talk.

So I guess I can start now. I’ll try the old “ask” trick. Do me a favor? If you’re still reading this, can you let your friends know about this site? Share on Twitter or Facebook or StumbleUpon or whatever your preferred social medium is.

What’s in it for you? I’ll tell you.

Your incentive is this: send me a screenshot of you telling your friends about this website and you’ll get a discount on my pending venture into the brutal underground world of self-publication and self-sales. I have a short story in the works and should have it for sale within a month or two. You can get it cheaper than anybody else. This offer expires as soon as I get that story officially up for sale. It’s not a huge incentive, but then again, it’s not a huge amount of work to share the link. I hope this sounds reasonable. (Note: this’ll probably be digital-only, at least at first, so you’ll need a Nook or a Kindle or an iPad or something.)

And because I am aiming to rank better than 2 million on my Twitter score from Hubspot by next quarter, I’m hoping for more Twitter followers who aren’t spambots or porn. Good luck to all of us.

Fortune and Glory.

2 Replies to “Twitter Grader | Get Your Twitter Ranking”

    1. Ah! You have me there. I don’t really suck at Twitter. I am just enormously tickled by Twitter graders that tell me how terrible I am.

      I agree with the article, and in fact I have already made a point of not following a gazillion random people in hopes of getting a follow-back. Nor do I automatically follow back whoever follows me, because more often than not those people are marketers or pornographers or both. I do put a pretty good price on quality of followers, moreso than quantity.

      …Which is all well and good, but I do not intend to use a higher follower count as a brain-dead audience for some outbound billboard message. Two things I would want a higher count for are: 1) to sell the number (arbitrary or not) to potential publishers (“I’ve got over 20 million followers” sounds better to a publisher than “I’ve got less than 200 followers”), and 2) to create more dialogue with potential readers than I currently am doing.

      My attitude is that a high-quality following comes AFTER I do well with literary and/or artistic endeavors. So really, what I am looking to improve is my own output of high-quality content, and I am going to make a pretty big deal out of this short story I’m chipping away at. (Which, at the rate I’m going, might be considered a novella because it’s getting aaaaawwwwfully long for a “short” story.)

      Long story short: as Seth advises, I aim to “build a reputation that’s worth owning and an audience that cares.”

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