Check your calendars – if you’re reading this post on February 13th, that means Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. If you’ve got someone to make out with, may I recommend the following list of necessary items to really set the mood:
- Pepperoni & garlic pizza – because boxes of chocolates are for suckers.
- Box of chocolates – because suckers make the best lovers.
- LOST season 4, episode 5 (“The Constant”) on DVD.
- Tear-away pants.
- Red wine. Preferably good red wine.
- A record player & a vinyl record of Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” – because classics are classy.
- Theatrical fog machine.
- Five minutes’ worth of prepared sweet talk.
- Roller skates.
- Loaded confetti-drop poised above your bed.
There you have it, fellas. You’re welcome.
