Valentine’s Day Checklist

Check your calendars – if you’re reading this post on February 13th, that means Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.  If you’ve got someone to make out with, may I recommend the following list of necessary items to really set the mood:

  • Pepperoni & garlic pizza – because boxes of chocolates are for suckers.
  • Box of chocolates – because suckers make the best lovers.
  • LOST season 4, episode 5 (“The Constant”) on DVD.
  • Tear-away pants.
  • Red wine. Preferably good red wine.
  • A record player & a vinyl record of Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” – because classics are classy.
  • Theatrical fog machine.
  • Five minutes’ worth of prepared sweet talk.
  • Roller skates.
  • Loaded confetti-drop poised above your bed.

There you have it, fellas. You’re welcome.

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